Irrational Anger

First things first: the appointment yesterday. This event started my irrational anger...well, provoked it at least. The receptionist who I called to find out if we were having an ultrasound big fat lied to me. I asked her point blank: Are we having an ultrasound? Receptionist: Yes, you are. And did I? NO! I was sooooo angry.

I should say that the appointment was otherwise great. My blood pressure and whatever test it is they do with the urine were perfect. I gained a little weight, but am still below my pre-pregnancy weight, thanks to the food aversion nausea. Peanut's heartrate is very good. I scheduled my 20 week ultrasound at the hospital. And I got all kinds of info for the next round of blood testing I need to do. God, I hate needles. Bleahk.

I was happy to hear the baby's galloping heartbeat though.

Anyhoo, it seems lately that I have irrational anger that comes on without warning. Example 1: on Sunday I was unable to access the traffic school website to do my online driving class. I wanted to smash the monitor. After calming myself down, I figured I would run errands. I drove all the way into Santa Rosa (which isn't actually that far, but whatevs) to the Sprint store so I could pay our cell phone bills. I do this because my husband is reimbursed for his phone bill by his work and I need an actual receipt for this. And they were freakin closed with a sign in the door saying they were closed all day for training purposes. I seriously wanted to throw a brick though the door.

Example 2: This morning my husband got a phone call from work, saying they needed him to go in. On his "day off." I use this term losely, as he never really has a day off because he gets about 200 phone calls a day and is constantly on the computer checking numbers. Now, we had a fight last night because he said he wanted to go into the Seb.astopol store to check up on it today. I threw a fit. Because the coffee wasnt' made, and there are seriously about 10 million things that need to get done in the apartment that wont' get done for yet another 1000 weeks. Plus, he wanted me to set his alarm for 5 am, the normal time he gets up. I am not stupid. If it is his day off, he will just hit the snooze button 10 million times and piss me off. So finally he agreed he wouldn't go in.

Anyhoo, when he got this phone call this morning, he didn't even seem that upset he had to go in. This angered me even more. I am sick of his job being his number 1 priority. I understand that his job is important and stressful, but for the love of god, train someone else to take care of stuff. I hate that if something needs to be done at work, he jumps on it, but I have to ask him 20 times to take out the trash. I have been asking him for a month to clean up the mold around the vent in his bathroom because it is f'n nasty. Is it done? Nope. I am seriously at my witts end. I went off about how when the baby is here he can't pull this crap. And the people at work are just going to have to deal. And that maybe, the problem with the business is that his boss doesn't know how to run it without my husband there. And that if he goes into work when he is on his paternity leave if he is not supposed to be in, the state will not pay his leave and it will end whether he has taken it or not. I was so damn angry that he would rather go into work than stay home and prioritize his pregnant wife.

Now, I know I can take care of myself. But seriously, I get really lonely all by myself. All my friends are in the City and all my family is in Ohi.o. It sucks. And it is no fun throwing up all evening, laying on the floor all by yourself in misery.

I just hate feeling this way. And the hormones are just increasing my anger beyond normal intensity.