Thursday, February 24, 2011

The House of Sick

Last Monday, Isaac starting coughing. Not just little sputters but deep, phlegmy type coughs. We kept him home and quiet on Tuesday, and we went about normal business on Wednesday, which involved daycare for him. I explained that he hadn't been feeling stellar upon dropoff...which was apparently the emerging trend at the center as several kids were out. By 2, I learned he had a low-grade fever, wasn't really eating, and although he was trying to play, just wasn't doing well. I called the pediatrician and got him an appointment for Thursday morning, hoping for the best. Thursday night was spent relaxing on the couch, watching Mickey Mouse.

When I woke him up in the morning to go to the Dr., it was apparent that my baby was sick, sick, sick. He had a fever, and was obviously miserable. He laid on the couch and then slept the entire way to his appointment. The pediatrician sent us away with a prescription for amoxocillin to treat a bacterial infection in his lungs. Clearly, he was not going to daycare any time soon.

It turns out that anytime soon would be a full week. Friday presented worse than the early days, in that Isaac woke up in tears, with a fever, and what I am guessing was a headache and sore throat, and most likely a sore chest from a night of coughing fitfully. He laid on the couch, demanding that I sit next to him without touching him for about 2 hours, crying and moaning before his tylenol and medicine really kicked in. It was horrible. He wanted to cuddle most of the day. The nights were hard, with Isaac not sleeping for more than 2 hours before waking up in a coughing fit. By Sunday, I saw some improvement in him....and some deterioration in my own health.

Inevitably, I caught what my baby had. I was not about to not wipe his running nose with the only material available at the time, which just happened to be my sleeve. I was not about to not cuddle him or hold him because he didn't know how to cover his mouth while coughing or sneezing. It comes with the motherhood territory, therefore; I am not complaining.

I especially was not complaining on Monday while my husband was home and I was able to leave quarantine for a few hours to go to the dentist (hey! try spending 4 days solid in your house and you'd be excited by that as well!) and run a few errands. By the time I got home, I felt like I had been hit by a train, and so did Ben. We loaded up on OTCs and hoped for the best. Tuesday was a good day. Yesterday not so bad, and Isaac went back to daycare.

This morning, I woke up with what I am pretty sure is an ear infection and my doctor can't see me until next week  unless I make an emergency appointment (read: $$$$$$$$$$$) or go to urgent care (read:$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$), and honestly, I am hoping it um...just goes away, since right now it is really just annoying. I know, that's naive. My head feels stuffed full of cotton and my throat is scratchy. Knowing that my baby felt like this absolutely breaks my heart.

All that is keeping me going right now is the thought of mashed potatoes, my bed, and a new Grey's Anatomy tonight. 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

10 Things I Love About You

When you have been together for as long as I have been with my husband, things fall into routine. We are going on 13 years together, 6 married. This past Valentine's Day was our 13th together. And you know, it's easy to see why this day has become a Hallmark, exploited holiday. But again, that's true of any holiday, I guess. Point being, we are busy. We are comfortable. We know the other person very well.

It's easy to go to the jewelry store, to the florist. I don't disagree with the traditional Valentine gifts (definitely NOT with diamonds. Those are suitable gifts for ANY occassion).

This year we decided to try something different. It's going to be an expensive year for us, with the move, a new home, new jobs. We don't have extra money to feed into Valentine's gifts. We agreed that instead of traditional gifts, we would each write a list of 10 things we loved about the other person to keep in our wallets.

It was an easy list to write. There are more than 10 things I love about my husband.


I have read the list he gave me about 20 times since last evening. It makes me cry. I know he loves me. I know he knows me. But let me tell you, this man KNOWS me and LOVES me.

And he made dinner, a similar dinner to the one he made for me on our first Valentine's Day. It was so delicious. He gave Isaac a bath. I cleaned up the kitchen and made his favorite Monster Cookies with red, pink, and white M&Ms.

I took a looooooooong bubble bath, like the ones I used to take before Isaac was born. With wine. And Grey's Anatomy on my laptop.

We all cuddled on the couch and watched TV together. And after Isaac fell asleep, he and I laid on the bed in darkness and talked for an hour.

It was the most perfect day ever. And it didn't cost us anything. I felt loved and appreciated as a wife and mother. I couldn't have asked for anything more.  

Friday, February 11, 2011

30 Days of Truth: Day 7

Day 7: Someone that has made your life worth living for.

I have been thinking about how to respond to this prompt for a while. I had a whole big spheal that I planned to write, about the obvious answers: my son, my husband,  my family, my friends. But it seems so generic and cliche, as true as it may be. I started to think about the whole 30 days of truth exercise and what I really wanted to get out of it (besides 30 posts). To me, this about looking into myself and my life.

So my answer is this: ME.

That's right. I have made my life worth living. Sure, people have enhanced the happiness, gave me joy, and made me feel complete. My life is happy and full because of the people who are in it. But the bottom line is, I have made my life what it is.

I am a firm believer that only you can reallly affect your life. Bad things happen to everyone. And everyone has pain and sorrow and anger. But it really is your choice on how you let things impact your life. Experiences shape who you are, but you make your experiences. Happiness is infectious. Smiles make days a bit brighter and easier to get through.

I have been unhappy. I have sat for hours on end, unmotivated and feeling directionless. I didn't like feeling that way. Only you can change your life. You have to make that decision to find somethign that makes you happy or that gives you fulfillment. And I made that decision, many times. If you are unhappy with life, change it. But don't change it for anyone else. Change it for yourself. Make your own life worth living.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

(Note: I just uploaded all my photos to I found a bunch for WW Posts!)

Monday, February 7, 2011

A Change has Brewed.

I was born and raised in Ohio. I went to a small high school, where I graduated with 129 other people. I went to college and soon enough learned there was a big world out there, one that I really wanted to explore past the midwest. As college graduation loomed nearer, I started looking at grad programs. To be 100% honest, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew I loved science, biology, research. But rather than narrowing down my focus into one specific area, I was just interested in everything (with the exception of microbio...yick!). Everytime I took a different class, I would think it was so cool and wanted to learn more, figure out how to do that science as well. I knew graduate school was the next step, but I was kinda clueless. I got a postcard from USF's program while waiting to hear from some other schools. It drew me in and I applied. It seemed to be a developing Masters program, so I knew I could get involved with alot of different ideas. I got in, and Ben proposed. We moved across the country with a few thousand dollars, an old couch, a bunch of plastic dishes, a few plants, and no idea how much our lives were going change.

I finished my Masters, burnt out from school. Still not having a clear direction, I took promotions and higher salaries for a company that I meant nothing to. My husband thrived in his job, and still does. We settled in to our lives. I changed jobs, and switched into my current position. It was here, in this job, that I really grew up. I found my passions and my direction.

And now, sometime this summer, we will leave California and head back to Ohio. We will leave with hopefully more than a few thousand dollars, a new couch and matching chair, 2 cats, real dishes, no plants, because I killed them, and a beautiful little boy... among other things loaded into a sizably larger moving truck.

We are leaving for several reasons. The biggest being that starting in the fall I will be a PhD student! When I left VS, it was to get back into science and pursue my dream. And now, I know what that dream is, and the steps are being taken.

We want to buy a house. Ands let's face it...that's not possible for us here. Ok, correction: the house we want to buy is not possible here.

Isaac...he THRIVES in Ohio. He's a different kid there. He's surrounded by his family, and I feel like an evil mother everytime we have leave.

I want to make something clear. We are not by any means UNHAPPY in California. We are very happy here...we just know we can be happier there. Are we crazy to give up the stability we have here? Maybe. But we don't think we are (most days...I've had some rather large-scale freakout sessions and Ben is remarkably good at calming me. Good husband :) ).

So this is it, the announcement: I am a PhD student, and we are heading back east. We are 100% committed to this change. I didn't want to say anything until it was concrete. And now it is. :)