Sunday, August 31, 2008

I Hate Needles, Part II

Yesterday morning I went to the hospital to have my blood drawn for AFP Screening, which tells me if I am a carrier of several genetic diseases. When the nurse explained this test to me, I asked if there was any reason not to do it, as the doctor had previously advised me against a nuchal screening and CVS (not that these tests were bad, but we conceived naturally and I am only 27). The nurse replied that it would let us know what the odds were the baby could have a genetic defect and help us make an informed decision. I asked what she meant by that, and she quickly tried to recover by saying that we could get all the information on raising a special needs child. I am sure that is not what she meant, but I didn't appreciate the callous comment in passing.

Anyhoo, this blood experience was not so bad. I got to the hospital rather late because I slept in and allowed myself a lazy morning. The lab was a little busy, and there were some technical issues with the computers, but I got in. Thankfully, they only needed to draw one vial of blood, so it was over quickly. The needle was not so bad I guess. I still can't watch it go in or be pulled out.

Afterward, I went into the City to get my haircut. I love my hairdresser, but unfortunately she cuts my hair so well, I don't need to go very often. My hair now has shape to it again and alot more lift and movement.

Then I met my friend D, who had a VS purchase for me of comfy comfy sweats, oil blotters, boob tape (yep, I have to tape alot of shirts into place these days, plus tape some of them shut in order to get more wear), and my bath products. We went down by the water and ate at Har.d Roc.k Ca.fe and walked along the pier for a while. Then we had yummy Col.dstone. Oh, and while on the train back downtown from the pier, I got my first offer from someone to give up their seat so my pregnant self could sit. :) I enjoy that I look pregnant and not just fat. I declined the offer, as the people who offered were older, and I was seriously fine standing. Had it had been a younger person, I would have taken it. But chances of that ever happening are slim. I will add that I gave up my seat many a time to pregnant women or women with babies/small children and it always annoyed me that perfectly healthy young people who were sitting closer to the front of the bus or train never offered. Seriously, who makes a pregnant woman walk/waddle all the way to the back of the bus? I am hoping that by giving up my seat all those times bought me some good bus karma for when I am huge.

It ended up being a long day, and I woke up in the night with a pounding headache which stayed with me all day (and yes, is still pounding in the back of my head.) I took alot of naps, and tried to get some things done around the apartment, but not much was accomplished. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I took a tepid bath (joy) and am just waiting for Ben to ge home so I can tell him I was a bad wife and didn't make dinner (I ate cereal all day).

I did decide that I have too much stuff. I decided this as I was digging for a pj shirt and notice the shimmer powders that I have not used in years. Hmmm, does a new mother need 6 shimmer powders/lotions? Does a new mother have time for shimmer? Probably not. Herego, some seriously decluttering needs to occur. We also decided that the new bedding is staying (you have to sleep on it in order to really decide), so my next task is to look for a new dresser and bench with underneath storage. I think that the old dresser we have can be refurbished for the baby. We have already decided on using the light colored birch wood for a boy (which the dresser currently is) and white for a girl (which the dresser can be easily painted).

Ok, the screen is kicking my headache into high gear again. Time to take some Tyle.nol PM and hope for the best.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Hurray! It's Friday! :)

Good things that happened to Mama Lahman today:

1. First and foremost, it is Friday. Not only that but it is the start of a three day weekend, meaning I get three sleep in days.

2. I got another free panty coupon in the mail from VS. This is seriously my 6th one this year. Looks like they have noticed that I stopped using my VS credit card and they no longer get 1/3 of my paycheck every week. When I worked there, I hated those damn coupons. Now they are a blessing, because it kills me a little bit to have to pay full price. Thankfully I can still count on D and K to buy me giftcards and shower gel. I haven't had to buy new bras yet, but I was measured again and am approaching a 38D. I can probably get away with one more month. Panties however...well the low rise bikinis aren't quite cutting it so much right now.

3. I got a letter from my insurance company informing that my doctor had put in for my labor and delivery room at the hospital and I am approved for the coverage. :) Yay, baby Lahman!

4. My mother and I picked out the invitation for my baby shower, and decided on favors and decorations. We are doing a Christmas themed shower since it is less than 2 weeks before Christmas. We still have tons of white lights left over from my wedding. We are going to use poinsettas as the centerpieces and they will double as prizes for the games. Big bonus: Seasonal Christmas plates, napkins, tablecloths, and cups are way cheaper than baby themed goodies.

5. My husband had two days off of work (this may not sound unusual, but it is). He had two good days off because the store in the city had two good days in sales without him. This means multiple things: they are learning to get along without him and have successful days, he didn't get as many phone calls (he seriously gets about 40 a day), and that his paycheck will be bigger from this week (usually the days he isn't there are not so hot). He also got stuff done around the apartment. Not necessarily the big stuff I wanted done, but it is nice to not have to worry about loading the dishwasher or cleaning out leftovers from the fridge.

6. We got new bedding yesterday and we agreed that it is a keeper. We both had good nights of sleep.

7. I filled up my gas tank for under $60 for the first time in ages. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is. We have to put premium fuel in both the audi and the mercedes, and California adds all kinds of clean air emissions stuff to the gas which makes it more. Plus everything is more in California period. Premium was $4.09 a gallon. Oh I am also only allowed to put gas from Chev.ron, Sh.ell, or 7.6 in my car. I put in gas from Val.ero once and I thought Ben was going to strangle me. Whatever, he is the car guru. I pick my battles.

8. Because Ben was off work again today, I didn't have to go to Tar.get by myself and lift the heavy kitty litter. We also got to go out to dinner and talked about the baby and other stuff. The time we spend together is precious. It takes a while, but after about an hour together he can get his mind out of the business mode that it lives in every other moment of the day. There was a teeny baby at the restaurant, and it made us both smile (Ok, it made me tear up, but hello...hormones).

9. My cousin A who likes to piddle away money on DVDs purchased Wha.t Happens i.n and Seas.on 2 so I have viewing material for the holiday weekend.

10. Another package arrived from my grandma today for Peanut. It contained a Beatrix Potter sheet that will make a great quilt once I can locate some character squares, two of my old books of nursery rhymes from when I was a little girl, an St.ate teddy bear, a maternity shirt for me (which I will actually wear), and the softest baby blanket that I have ever felt. I know have three boxes of baby goodies and a bassinett, all gifts (well 90%, I have been really good thus far).

So even though the day didn't start so well, all in all it end as a great one. :)

To do this weekend:
1. Finish updating pregnancy calendar.
2. Send baby gift to friend
3. Organize kitchen junk drawe
4. Call J Cr.ew and track down my dress
5. Finish going through clothes and pulling out suitable maternity wear.

Whew, At Least It Was Just A Dream

I had a dream last night that my baby arrived way early (like it was born right now, but it was normal size and perfectly healthy). I was completely unprepared for the arrival and I was freaking out because I hadn't had either baby shower yet. I didn't have anything to take care of the baby with, only the stuff I have received already which is maybe 7 pairs of socks, 4 onesies, one pack of diapers and 3 bottles (we actually have more stuff than that, but that was all that was useful in the dream). I don't know what happened to the bassinet, so the baby had to sleep in a drawer. I could nurse the baby, but I didn't have a pump. It was a very freaky dream. Oh, and I also had to call my boss and tell him I wasn't able to come in because I had my baby.

Needless to say, I am freaked out enough that I am starting to register for all the free stuff online I can: coupons, free samples, special offers. This morning has been spent weeding through all kinds of crap (sorry, I am not going to join 8 programs that involve me buying 7 DVDs for the price of 1 or testing products for 7 days with a $1 processing fee, even though you baby bundle is worth $550.) I have already registered at a bunch of sites like,, and have countless emails that have been sent to me and I have just been dumping them into a "baby stuff folder" in my inbox. I started wading through them. I have also started making lists of everything we will need before Peanut arrives (not like a shower registry, but stuff that needs to be bought like life insurance, stablizing our IRA, etc) and stuff that needs to be done like mounting the bike locks, finishing my spain scrapbook, etc.

Yes, the dream freaked me big time. I know I still have about 5 months until the baby arrives, but I will sit and obsess over things if I don't start working on them now. I am fully prepared for the life change when our family increases by one, and am very excited about it. And I know I will never be fully ready for the change. I just feel like I should be doing more, and apparently my subconcious does as well.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I Know, I Know

Something I have learned to repeat to my self everyday, and that countless people tell me (including my mother):

Remember, men don't think the same way women do.

But, geez it would be nice if they did sometimes. Especially when a pregnant woman is involved.

Hello, Baby, Are You In There?

A few days ago I felt something in my tummy that I thought might be the baby. At the time, I didn't really know what it was, but it didn't feel like gas or indigestion or anything (trust me, pregnant women know what those things feel like). I didn't really pay enough attention to it to really get what it felt like because it happened so fast. I asked the doctor at my last appointment when I would be able to start feeling the baby, and he said it may be a couple weeks yet. That was slightly discouraging, so I kinda wrote off what I felt.

And then yesterday I felt it again. Since I have been paying very closing attention to my tummy feelings, I got a better feel on it (no pun intended). I felt it right below my belly button. You know when someone swishes their hand or something in front of you, that rush of air you feel? It kinda felt like that, but inside of me.

Since I have only felt it twice, I am trying not to get too excited over it. Like any expectant mother, I am anxious to feel and see my baby. Oh, trust me, I feel pregnant. And I am definately looking pregnant. And most definately eating like a pregnant woman. I just want to know my baby is in there and kicking (literally).

I have begun to talk to the baby. And sing to the baby (Note: in the future this may be considered a form of punishment as I can't carry a tune to save my life. I figure it is ok right now because everything is muffled). Mostly I let the baby hear the lyrical brilliance of Rob Thomas and Matchbox Twenty. That is what I sing to him/her. I have heard that if I don't really know what to say to the baby yet, or I feel odd talking to it, I can read a book to him/her. I may start that.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I swear I will get the belly pic up within the next few days. :)

I Heart Christmas

I know it is only August, but alot of things have me thinking about Christmas already. I love Christmas. I love decorating, I buying and wrapping gifts. I love the smells of pine and cinnamon. I love baking cookies (as evidenced by the 18 different kinds I make each year). I just love everything about it.

My baby shower in Ohio is just before Christmas, and I am pretty excited about it. What I am most excited about is that my mom and I decided to do Christmas ornaments as favors. I have scouted lots of ideas, and have found several ones to be made depending on the gender of Peanut. I love decorating my tree. All my ornaments have meaning to me in some way. I collect ornaments from the different places my husband and I visit, and I have some from my great grandmother and other family. I even have special ornaments for the kitties to play with at the bottom of the tree (which they are pretty good about sticking too). Giving ornaments as favors is a very special idea to me because of my obsession with my ornaments. :)

And thinking about the shower, so close to Christmas, makes me excited for the first Christmas with the baby and all those after. Ben wants to dress up like Santa for our kids. I keep imagining how much fun it will be to go shopping with and for the baby, hanging stockings, putting out cookies for Santa, looking at light displays...I am so happy, I could cry.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

That's My What?!

I forgot to mention that at my last doctor's appointment, the doctor showed me where the top of my uterus was and now I am addicted to feeling it. That is wierd I know, but since I can't feel Peanut yet, I like to feel the place where he/she lives. And now I know what I am feeling for, I can track the progress of the uterus expansion. Again, that is wierd, I know.

I tried to get my husband to feel it, but he refuses. He thinks that is just gross. I even pointed out that it is not wierd, it is where the baby lives. He didn't budge.

He just doesn't know what he is missing, I guess. :)

Parent Shower

My husband and I have been talking about when we want to do our baby registery, and how involved in this process he wants to be (Note: We decided to register in the end of September or mid-October as my baby shower in Ohio is 12/13, and that he only wants to be involved in picking out the larger items like the crib, stroller, etc. Everything else I can do with a friend.).

After this decision was made, I started to think about all the other stuff we need in the apartment, not baby related. We could really use a new comforter and another sheet set (We have a pillowtop California king, and deep pocket sheets for this size are so hard to find, especially in colors we like). We need new end tables, as they are the only piece of furniture in our living room that is still hand me down and looks it. We have talked about getting a display shelf for our collection of shot glasses. The list could go on.

It made me think of when and if we can get these things, and if it could be done before Peanut comes. They aren't big big purchases or anything, but if we got everything or even most of it, we would be dropping a nice chunk of change. This money is money we are saving for maternity leave and such (although we have hatched several plans for that time as well, to be later discussed). I really would like to get some of it before Peanut because who knows when we would be able to do it afterward. We remain on the fence, so the timeframe for getting these things is a huge question mark.

It makes me want to register for these things. :) Like a parent shower. I know, I know, we already had our wedding registry, and we will have our baby gifts and such. But still. Our wedding was over 3 years ago, and what we thought we were planning for then is not necessarily the position we are in now.

The general compromise is that we will use Christmas as an opportunity to get some of these things.

On a completely different note, my husband got his prescription for the stop smoking pill. Man, oh man, it is expensive and insurance doesn't cover it...which I find a bit odd and may research it further. They don't cover prenatal vitamins either, but I let that slide because they are only $30. My birth control was more than that. Anyhoo, he is almost through t he first week of pills and he has been taking them very diligently. And he hasn't been smoking as much, so I am pleased.

And I am SORE today from my yoga class. SORE, SORE, SORE. and I actually slept through the entire night, or most of it. I think I may have gotten up to go to the bathroom once, but I don't remember. I was that tired. I know I woke up and thought about it, but then I decided I didn't have to go that bad. Trust me, I have more than made up for it this morning.

Back to dreaming about my parent shower and searching for sheets and a comforter. :)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Seriously, I would have to sell MY BABY to pay for that.....

So was my qoute of the day. Allow me to to explain before anyone gets the idea that I would pawn off my baby for extra cash.

I had a dentist appointment this morning. As you may recall, I have had some dental mishaps this year, including a root canal and a broken tooth. As to not reiterate those stories, let's just say that both mishaps led my dentist to schedule a comprehensive exam in order to determine if there were any pressing issues in my mouth that would need to be taken care of while I was pregnant and what could wait until after Peanut's arrival. Now, being that I was a little shaken up having to have a tooth filed down with no drugs, and being that I was still early on in my first trimester, I agreed to this exam. I should add that I had already canceled this type of appointment as my dental insurance is maxed for the year.

Well, I woke up before my husband's alarm went off this morning, about 5 am. I do not have to get up until 7, but I was so worried about how this exam was going to go and what it was going to cost, that I could not fall back asleep. It was therefore an early morning.

The exam itself was not so bad. I knew I had some problems in mouth, as I had not been to the dentist in about 6 years. (yes, yes, I know this is bad....but after college I did not have dental insurance and when I did, certain employers made it damn near impossible to maintain any type of appointment.) I knew the broken tooth would need to be fixed soon, most likely asap, and I was aware of another bad cavity from the time of my root canal. Regardless, I was not aware, nor prepared of exactly how many problems this woman would unearth in my mouth.

Let's just say this....THEY WANT ME TO DO OVER $6,000.00 IN WORK OVER THE NEXT YEAR. Upon entering all the information from my gum exam, minimal x-rays, and other poking and prodding (um...yes, it does hurt when you stick that sharp needle-like thing into my gum line, thanks for checking though), they produced a treatment plan. And upon reviewing the plan with me, the dentist announced the price.

My immediate reaction was to start laughing. I mean, seriously. That is the cost of a used car! That is 6 months of rent!

My next comment was the title of this post "It isn't even going to cost that much for me to have this baby! Seriously, I would have to sell my baby to pay for that!"

Sensing my reluctance, I was then informed that the office could pre-approve me for a credit line for the dental work. Again, you want me to take out a line of credit at the DENTAL OFFICE?!

The receptionist, who is my neighbor, was a bit more understanding and went over the plan with me, outlining how the priorities were grouped and options I had in scheduling them. She completely understood when I said that before I scheduled anything, I needed to speak with my husband and my doctor. I did schedule a bacteria scan for next Tuesday morning, which will allow a better idea of how likely I am to develop abcesses or other infection type things that sound like a riot, and it is only $40. Plus the dentist will then be able to give me a special mouthwash that will prevent the further spread of bacteria/decay in my mouth.

I thought about it the entire way to work. I think I am just going to have the work done that fixes my broken tooth, and then maybe the bad cavity. That itself will be about $600 without any insurance. I will ask next week exactly which elements of the treatment plan are necessary in order to do these two things.

A high point of the day: my first prenatal yoga class started today, and I loved, loved, loved it. It felt so good to stretch among other things. It is not too pricey, but I am only going to be able to go once a week as there is only one evening prenatal class. And there is no class next Monday due to Labo.r Da.y. Boo.

Oh, and I have been craving rice kispies like no other. So much that Ben and I had to run to Saf.eway last night at 9 to pick some up, and I have eaten half the box already. :)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Positives Outweigh the Negatives, Right?

Ok, my last post (be it 20 minutes or so ago) seems incredibly negative to me and probably anyone who reads it. I guess that was the intention. I needed to vent. I am still spinning a bit crazily, but thought I should add some positive things.

:) #1: I just checked the balance on all my students loans, and I am finally paying off the principal. I have paid all the interest on them, and now am actually tackling the amounts I borrowed.

:) #2: Our car insurance company sent us our premium renewal. We will be paying $150 less a month because the two claims we had taken out on the audi 3 years ago are finally gone along with my husband's speeding ticket from our honeymoon.

:) #3: I actually put money (and sizable amounts) into all of our savings accounts this money, minus our IRA. This includes the account I opened to fund the trip to Italy I want to take my mother on when she turns 50.

:) #4: I went to the Motherhood maternity outlet last Friday, and got the most wonderful pairs of maternity jeans. They are so freakin comfy, it's ridiculous. I love, love, love them, and they fit me without having to be tailored. (insert happy dance here) I also got some nice shirts, so I am comfortable once again, at least for the time being.

:) #5: Tomorrow I am going shopping with my other friend G.

:) #6: I have decided that after work I am going to go get a sno cone and sit in square at eat it. Whoever thought of drizzling sugary syrup over ice is a genius and deserves a huge hug.

Ok, so those are my positives. I will add that I am still incredibly ticked at one husband who shall remain nameless, but I am trying really hard not to focus on it. Not incredibly hard, but it's the effort right?

Irrational Anger

First things first: the appointment yesterday. This event started my irrational anger...well, provoked it at least. The receptionist who I called to find out if we were having an ultrasound big fat lied to me. I asked her point blank: Are we having an ultrasound? Receptionist: Yes, you are. And did I? NO! I was sooooo angry.

I should say that the appointment was otherwise great. My blood pressure and whatever test it is they do with the urine were perfect. I gained a little weight, but am still below my pre-pregnancy weight, thanks to the food aversion nausea. Peanut's heartrate is very good. I scheduled my 20 week ultrasound at the hospital. And I got all kinds of info for the next round of blood testing I need to do. God, I hate needles. Bleahk.

I was happy to hear the baby's galloping heartbeat though.

Anyhoo, it seems lately that I have irrational anger that comes on without warning. Example 1: on Sunday I was unable to access the traffic school website to do my online driving class. I wanted to smash the monitor. After calming myself down, I figured I would run errands. I drove all the way into Santa Rosa (which isn't actually that far, but whatevs) to the Sprint store so I could pay our cell phone bills. I do this because my husband is reimbursed for his phone bill by his work and I need an actual receipt for this. And they were freakin closed with a sign in the door saying they were closed all day for training purposes. I seriously wanted to throw a brick though the door.

Example 2: This morning my husband got a phone call from work, saying they needed him to go in. On his "day off." I use this term losely, as he never really has a day off because he gets about 200 phone calls a day and is constantly on the computer checking numbers. Now, we had a fight last night because he said he wanted to go into the Seb.astopol store to check up on it today. I threw a fit. Because the coffee wasnt' made, and there are seriously about 10 million things that need to get done in the apartment that wont' get done for yet another 1000 weeks. Plus, he wanted me to set his alarm for 5 am, the normal time he gets up. I am not stupid. If it is his day off, he will just hit the snooze button 10 million times and piss me off. So finally he agreed he wouldn't go in.

Anyhoo, when he got this phone call this morning, he didn't even seem that upset he had to go in. This angered me even more. I am sick of his job being his number 1 priority. I understand that his job is important and stressful, but for the love of god, train someone else to take care of stuff. I hate that if something needs to be done at work, he jumps on it, but I have to ask him 20 times to take out the trash. I have been asking him for a month to clean up the mold around the vent in his bathroom because it is f'n nasty. Is it done? Nope. I am seriously at my witts end. I went off about how when the baby is here he can't pull this crap. And the people at work are just going to have to deal. And that maybe, the problem with the business is that his boss doesn't know how to run it without my husband there. And that if he goes into work when he is on his paternity leave if he is not supposed to be in, the state will not pay his leave and it will end whether he has taken it or not. I was so damn angry that he would rather go into work than stay home and prioritize his pregnant wife.

Now, I know I can take care of myself. But seriously, I get really lonely all by myself. All my friends are in the City and all my family is in Ohi.o. It sucks. And it is no fun throwing up all evening, laying on the floor all by yourself in misery.

I just hate feeling this way. And the hormones are just increasing my anger beyond normal intensity.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Baby Day #3

Today is my third prenatal appointment! I am very excited about this one, because I get an ultrasound. I know this, because the nurse freaked me out so bad last time, I called ahead to see if this appointment was with her or the doctor. The receptionist explained that I will have an appointment every month, but occassionally it will only be with the NP to check my bp, weight, glucose/protein levels, and the baby's heartbeat. I just really want to see my baby again.

It is also exciting because in theory, we could be able to tell the baby's sex if all goes well. It is still early in the timeframe that you can tell this, but 15 weeks is the start. I am so impatient, I really hope we don't have to wait until next month.

It has been a busy week so far, starting with a busy weekend. I have gotten alot done, which I feel good about. This includes scrubbing, and I mean scrubbing, the kitchen floor and baseboards on Saturday. This made me so tired, I had to take a nap. I also found a prenatal yoga class, which I am told will help with my lower back pain, and signed up for my Mar.ine Ma.mmal training. It has also been really busy at work for me, which I don't get to say often.

Also, today my husband has his annual checkup with his doctor, and is hoping to be approved for one of the stop smoking pills. Fingers crossed. (No worries in the meantime...he has never been allowed to smoke in our apartment, and has been banned from smoking in the car when I am there.)

Fingers crossed for a good baby day! :)

Thursday, August 14, 2008


So I thought of something I would like to add to my "pla" post.

Those people I mentioned that can map something out and stick to it? I greatly admire those people. More power to them. Like I had said, I used to be like that, or at least somewhat like that. And maybe one day I will be again. It is just that right now, in this moment in time, I am not in that mentality.

And I didn't mean to imply that I don't have goals,because I do. And I have thought about what steps need to be taken in order to acheive those goals. I am happy in my life right now, and I am enjoying living it one day at a time. I have never been at a point where I felt I could do that before, and now I am.

I am just tired of people continually asking me what am I gonna do about this? and what am I gonna do about that? and don't I have a plan for this?

I want to enjoy this time in my life, relish carrying a baby and all that comes with it, and not have to stress about whatnot.

I Don't Even Have a Pla...

So said Phoebe Buffay when asked by Monica if she had a plan. And that is my answer too.

Yes, lots of people have asked what our plan is for the future. Usually this is in reference to debt management, living locations, employment...mostly long term type things. Apparently with the impending arrival of Peanut, we should have a better handle on a plan for our lives. I read alot of blogs where people clearly have a mapped out plan.They have plans for getting out of debt, plans for their family, plans for jobs....and they are all clearly mapped out and detailed.

I used to be a planner. I used to plan out every mundane detail, but then I would get upset if something threw off my plan. So I kind of stopped. Too many things were popping up out of nowhere, changing plans. I was a total control freak, and it really bothered me. I had to learn to loosen up. There were actually times that I was stressed out because I was not stressed about anything. True story.

Don't get me wrong, my husband and I have ideas for where we would like to be. And I do still plan things out...I can't quite embrace the "fly by the seat of your pants" mentality. This baby popped up pretty suddenly, and so our tentative plans were altered yet again. I have mapped out the months until Peanut's arrival pretty well, but mostly because they involve specific events and are quite busy. So for those concerned, here is what I have:

Debt management/reduction: I have mapped this out so many times, it makes me want to scream. We have sat down with financial advisors at the bank. I don't know if we just don't have the discipline to follow what they give us or what (the plans are pretty rigorous, and don't usually account for unplanned husband needs a new car, which means another car payment and increased car insurance payments). I am not going to lie, we do have a fair amount of debt. From two car loans, moving across the country, 6 years of student loans, a wedding, a honeymoon, 3 months of living in an expensive city like San Francisco without a job, buying new furniture, emergency root canals, car all adds up. And that number is fairly intimidating, and made me outright freak out a few months ago. We were never financially irresponsible, so to speak, but we weren't exactly always on top of our situation. For example, We made late payments on accident, which subsequently raised interest rates every now and then. We have good credit scores and good paying jobs, and it finally dawned upon us (well, me anyway), that I shouldn't have to pay interest up the wazoo, etc. I totalled everything, and started mapping out how each paycheck would be portioned to pay bills. I shuffled balances. I pay 2 extra car payments on each loan every year. I round each payment due up to the nearest hundred, and sometimes double the minimum payments. We try to put 10% of each check into our high interest savings, but that doesn't happen with every check. We stopped using our credit cards, except for what we pay off each gas and groceries. Do these things make us debt free any time soon? No, most likely not. Am I incredibly concerned about our financial situation for when Peanut arrives and we aren't pulling in our normal salaries? Not really. We have a good amount of money in our savings, and we do have a small retirement account. And I plugged our information into one of those Net Worth websites, and with our shares in the tire store, both cars being worth more than what we owe, and that pearly white classic T-bird push us into a fairly high positive net worth. So I guess my plan for this is to just keep doing what I am doing.

Living location: Is is difficult to live thousands of miles away from family? Yes, especially with the baby coming. Do I feel alone at times when I shouldn't have to? Yes. But to be 1000% honest, I do not see a solution to this anywhere in the near future. We talked about moving to NC within the next year or so, and we would still like to do that. It is closer to the family and friends in the midwest. It is an area where we both have been many times, and have enjoyed. It is close enough to the ocean, so I won't go through withdrawl. Is this feasible for the near future at this point? Not so much right now. I realize having a baby so far away from everyone will be difficult. But moving back east to any location at this point would make it more so. I would lose my health insurance, my maternity leave (and California has the best maternity/paternity laws in the country)...not to mention that neither my husband and I have jobs out there at this point, and it would take a huge chunk of our money to relocate so blindly. We do need a bigger place, though. We need three bedrooms. And for what I would pay per month to keep all the guestroom things in storage, I could pay for a 3 bedroom in Peta.luma. However, our lease is not up until the end of December, and I would ideally like to move in November. The plan for this? Keep hunting for a new place in Peta.luma or the surrounding area and have the husband explain the situation to the landlord, who he is tight with. Put moving to NC on the back burner for at least another year, until we can really start planning for it.

Employment: I like my job. Ben likes his job. Ideally, I would love not to work after the baby is born. Is this reasonable at this point? Nope. As for now, I am going to take my maternity (praying that I am approved for a total of 4-5 months), and then come back to work. We will figure out childcare and such when we get there.

So that pretty much covers the three big ones. I don't have more to say on those than that. As for the time being until Peanut does make his/her is pretty busy. August is pretty much half over. In September I have my training to become an MMC education volunteer. That takes up every Tuesday night and Saturday for a good portion of the month. The beginning of October I am going back to Ohio for a few days, and then to an out of state wedding. Then we are taking a little side trip to NYC for a few days. When we come back we will have to start registering. In November I want to move. Then starts the holidays. I have two planned baby showers, one in Ohio that involves me being gone for 6 days in December. The Californ.ia shower is in January. And then Peanut will be here.

So I guess my overall plan is this: To grow a healthy baby for the next 6 months. That is all that really matters to me at this point, and all that I am truly focusing on. I am going to be a mommy, and for me, that is a dream come true. All of my energy is going into that.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Back to Good

So Peanut and I are officially out of the first trimester. Or, I think so at least. According to the ticker above, I am almost to a full 14 weeks. However, on various other pregnancy websites, I am told I am in my 14th week of pregnancy. This kind of simple calendar math makes my head hurt trying to understand that 13+ weeks of development is actually equivalent to being in the 14th week of pregnancy. Whatever. I am not a common sensical gal...more of a science geek type.

Anyhoo, Peanut is rougly the size of a clenched fist and can make facial expressions now. My mother can not get past the time when I told her that Peanut was the size of a lime and had all its little tooth buds formed below the gum line, and now thinks of my baby as a lime with teeth. I have another doctor's appoint next thursday, and I have already begun my list of questions for this visit. I really want to hear Peanut's heartbeat again, and hopefully see him/her. I read updates on the baby's growth (generically of course, not specifically my baby) every day. It is amazing to me what is going on in my body, and I often catch myself staring at my stomach, trying to envision where my child is and what it looks like and what it is doing at this moment. I can't wait to feel my son or daughter kick me. :)

In terms of myself, I am feeling more like myself these days. My fatigue has started to fade a little bit. I am gaining a little bit of weight, but for the overal pregnancy, I am still in the negative for the weight gain due to the 12 pounds I lost initially. I am mostly gaining belly. While I was shopping on Sunday (which I will get to in a was an experience, let me tell you.), someone I worked with many moons ago actually said "Oh my god, look at your cute pregnant belly!" It is nice to know that I look pregnant and not just fat. I will post the belly pic as soon I can (you know me and pictures). In addition to that, I can tell I have a baby belly or at least an expanding belly because last night I had to untie my sweatpants to get them on comfortably (I used to just tie them on the slightly loose side and pull them up and down). My acne outbreak is starting to subside a bit. It is mostly along my hairline anyway, so it is not extremely noticeable, but I have gotten the occassional one (or five) on the forehead. Nice.

And this may not seem like a big deal, but I followed the recommendation of my dentist and got a new tooth brush. In my irrate state in describing my dental experience, I may have neglected to mention that she told me to get a soft bristle brush. I kinda blew it off at first because I have had soft bristle brushes (on accident) and never liked them much. I always preferred the medium kind. However, I told her my gums had been a little more sensitive and I had had a bit more "pink in the sink" after brushing. I went out and got one of those new 360 brushes (I think it is Col.gate, but I don't really remember), and it is a wonderful, wonderful purchase. It seriously feels like the brush is massaging my gums, and I really like how it cleans the inside of my cheeks and tongue too.

Ok, so the shopping. I went into the city (SF) on Sunday in pursuit of maternity jeans with the aid of my little friend G (she needs to be referred to as little G, as she is tiny and I have another friend G who I may talk about one day. Just to clarify.). After leaving the retail industry, I don't go shopping that much as I am not in the mall everyday. Herego, I had a list of things I needed. Anyhoo, the first stops were easy as they were just to makeup counters. We always stop into VS to say high to the crew and Boo D. Plus I had a free panty coupon. Now, after having worked this industry for 5 years, I have to say that it is pretty irritating to have people come in just for the freebie, but in all fairness I did intend to attempt to use the bra discount. However, I know the girls have grown. I notice it, my husband notices it, and probably other people to. I let our old pal A measure me, and to my dismay, I have gone from the 36C I have been for the past 3 years to a 38C! Needless to say, I am anticipating more um...growth in the next few months, so I did not try anything on. How am I wearing the wrong bra size comfortably right now? Well, thank god for the miracle of the BBV microfiber. Bless the stretchiness.

After that we proceeded to J.Cr.ew to get my bridesmaid dress for Z's wedding. They did not have the style in the store, but I kinda expected that. The helpful sales girl took my measurements and told me what size I should try in some other dresses. Now, I should say that I have ordered this same dress in a different material and color for another wedding, so I know what size used to fit me. I told the girl this and that in 2 months my stomach and various other parts will most likely be larger than the measured size that fits now. My strategy: Order the biggest size and have it tailored down. I don't think the girl really understood what I was saying, but the dress got ordered (or I got put on the waitlist for the dress anyway) and I didn't have to pay shipping charges as I ordered and paid through the store.

So began the pursuit of maternity jeans. Can I just say how freakin hard it was? A. I am short, so I usually get ankle length jeans, that most often have to be hemmed anyway because B. I have the wonderful Latina curves that make me a wierd short size. My legs fit into a completely different size than my behind and hips. It was pretty frustrating, because I know I am most likely going to have to purchase a larger pair of maternity pants in the upcoming months. And as I said before, I don't want to shell out the big $$ for that until I can get alot of use from them. I don't know. I am being really wierd about this. Anyway, I finally found one pair hidden in Ol.d Na.vy that are seriously the next comfiest thing to sweats. I put them on and didn't want to take them off. SO FREAKIN COMFY. It was a bit odd to see myself in maternity jeans, and they are probably the ugliest jeans I have owned in a while (I can't say ever because I am pretty sure I had stonewashed jeans that zipped at the ankle at one point in my life). I guess the mission was accomplished because I did get jeans...even though they still need to be hemmed. I thought that buying pants with a stretchy waistband would mean it would be easier to find a pair that would fit perfectly. Whatevs.

ok, I have written a novel here and I am thinking it is time for lunch. :)

Lastly, my list of things to get done:
1. Call doctor and ask if my prescription eye drops are still ok to use because my eyes are getting poopy again
2. Update pregnancy calendar
3. Buy plastic bins to house the presents Peanut has received
4. Sign up for my online traffic school

Furry Children

No, I am not referring to my actual child, who I sincerely hope is not furry. I am talking about my baby kitties.

Yep, that is them. :) The one that looks like he is one with the black floor mat is Guliani, and the fat little one is Layla. When we first got Layla, she and Guiliani did not get along very well. Now all they do is play, play, play. I have only seen them cuddle with each other once, as in sleep wrapped up together. Mostly they wrestle and give each other baths. Layla seems to use the bath technique as a method of starting her attack. One minute she is licking...the next she is smacking.

This would be Guiliani in the dryer. He likes to climb in and nap on the clothes...which isn't so much a problem until I notice the large quantities of black fur on the whites. (Note: If by chance you have noticed the cat to dryer size ratio, please know that my cat is not ginormous...the dryer is very small. It is one of those little stackables that came with the apartment.

And as I previously mentioned, Layla has finally started to really warm up to me and my husband. She is incredibly skittish and jumpy, but this picture was taken during a relatively calm moment. As soon as she heard the camera noise, she woke up and stared at me in loathing for waking her, so I took another picture of her then. However, her eyes were glowing red (probably because she was so angry with me), and I haven't figured out how to correct for cat red eyes in photos. Anyhoo, here she is all sleeping and being cute and cuddly with my husband.

I love my kitties. :) Hopefully they will adjust well to Peanut's arrival.

Friday, August 8, 2008

More baby cuteness

[For some reason I always forget that the website goes down on Friday afternoons. This causes me great aggravation, as I was being very industrious in posting.]

Yes, this is my third post today. I can't concentrate on anything or get anything productive done at work because what I need to do involves reading and taking notes, and they are jack-hammering the concrete outside, as they have been all day. Plus, I said I had the pictures ready, didn't I?

So the preface to this baby gift, and why I like it so much goes baby to when I was a baby. My uncle had given me a cloth rabbit puppet that came from the local grocery called the County Pride. I loved the rabbit, and I still do. It was my security blanket. It sits in my guestroom now, in a box with my actual baby blanket.

This is Bunny. The plaid material that makes up his body was kind of flannel-y and lined with satin ribbon, which you can see has torn off the edges. His body has also become quite threadbare over the years. His head is actually the puppet-y part. And his ears have fallen off several times and had to be re-sewn. The center part of the ears is also satin. His face, ears, and paws feel like a jersey material of sorts. (Note: I am bad at fabric names and descriptions, so my use of them could be way way off.)

A couple of weeks ago, my grandma, Nana, sent me a package for the baby. I was a bit nervous, as some of her gifts can be a bit questionable at times, and she has a taste that is all her own. In it was this:

It is a Winnie the Pooh blanket buddy. It has the same material body lined with the same type of satin as Bunny. The small green thing in the corner is a teether, so the baby can chew on it. And Winnie is like a little plush toy.

When I realized what it was, I started to cry. I don't know if Nana realized how close to Bunny it was, or picked it intentionally for those reasons, but it touched me that this was Peanut's first gift from Nana. It means alot to me. I take it out of the box that is holding all the baby gifts, and I run my fingers along the silky edges, like I did with Bunny, and I picture my baby doing the same.

Another meaningful gift that Peanut has received is this:

I don't know the exact "baby-term" for what this is, but it is for the crib. You pull the bee that is hanging from the sunshine and it plays music and little lights dance around the sun's rays as the bee rises up to the sun. The bee has shiny crinkly wings (I don't know why that seems important, but it does). What I love about this is the music it plays... "You Are My Sunshine." This is a song that I remember Nana and my mother singing to me from the time I was a baby. This was a gift to Peanut from my mother, who is chosing to be referred to as "Nonnie." I also take this out of the box, and listen to the song everynow and then. However, the cats are fascinated by the rising bee and flashing lights, so they must be kept at bay.

Speaking of my baby kitties, they seem to be fine with my pregnancy. Guiliani still is a mama's boy, and demands lots of my attention. Layla is continuing to warm up to us. I think having the in-laws here really helped with that, as they were sleeping in her room, on the bed where she usually slept at night. This caused her to sleep on the foot of our bed. (Note:she tired to sleep on my chest once. She climbed up and closed her eyes and started to purr. Guiliani, who lays on the pillow at the foot of the bed until I fall asleep and then moves up to lay on my head, lifted his head, made a wierd crying noise and ran up to Layla, bit her neck, and dragged her off of me.)

Little Buckeye Fan

Being from Ohio, my husband is a huge OSU football fan. Since I fully intend to impart my MatchboxTwenty fanaticism onto our child, I have deemed it acceptable for him to do the same with Buckeye football. To show my support for this, I have scouted several OSU baby items that will be his, like the OSU diaper bag, OSU car shade for his car, pacificers, onesie's, booties, etc. Normal baby stuff. While searching for this stuff, I stumbled upon this, and had to order it. It was originally back ordered, and I couldn't find it anywhere else, but finally it was in stock again.

The one one the left is the front, and the right is the back.
It is made of a soft satiny material that looks like a real football jersey. It buttons on the bottom like a onesie, and also on the right shoulder.(I apologize for the poor quality of the photos and the wrinkly-ness of the background pillow case. I was in a hurry, and it is still more attractive than if I just laid it on the carpet. )

It is so cute and small. :) and Ben really likes it. Now, I am guessing that this was made with baby boys in mind. However, all the OSU stuff for baby girls is pink! I am one of those people that believes that it just isn't OSU if it is not scarlett and grey. If it turns out we are having a girl, she can wear this with a cute little skirt and a little red bow in her hair.

You Taste Like Honey, Honey, Tell Me Can I Be Your Honeybee?

So last night, I finally got some pictures ready. I have to say that I had more motivation as my Matchbox20 2008 Best of Exile USB wristband download came yesterday and I had to load it onto my ipod. (Hence, the title...) And to clarify, the USB wristband is exactly what it sounds like. A small USB drive embedded into the end of a rubber wristband, and on this drive is the best performances of the band's 2008 tour. They sell a wristband for each show that they did, so you can buy the one you went to, which I did, but this one has the best performances voted on by fans. Yes, I am a huge-mongous MB20 fan and nothing will ever change that.

Anyhoo, last Saturday Ben and I drove up to Konoc.hti Resort and Spa at Clea.rlake for the last stop on the Exile in America tour. (Yes, this was my third MB20 concert within a year.) It was a beautiful drive through the mountains to this huge, gorgeous blue lake in the middle of nowhere. We had tickets to the pre-show BBQ cookout, so we really got to enjoy the scenery. The dinner was great, if by the quantity my husband consumed was any indication...we certainly got our money's worth out of that buffet.

The concert was in the outdoor amphitheatre, so it was a pretty small venue. In my opinion, the performances in the smaller venues are always a million times better. It always seem like the people that are there are really the people who want to be there, not just because they got company tickets or something. Our seats were excellant, right in the center front of the floor. The show was amazing, and we had such a great time. MB20 does a great live show, and they always put so much energy and soul into each song they perform. And given my enhanced hormonal state, I cried about 4 times during the show.

I like to think that Peanut had a good time too. Baby Lahman's first concert. :) The baby can feel my excitement and happiness right?

I love that you can take pictures at concerts now. :) We ended up with some really good ones....and I may have "accidently" hit the video button a few times as well. Funny how that happens.

Ah, Rob Thomas.

This would be one of the times I cried. I love it when he plays the piano.

They aren't doing a USB wristband for this show, sadly. I know I already have two...but again, I can't get enough of MB20. They did some great covers during this show. Plus, I would listen to Rob Thomas read the phone book and scream racial slurs. No joke. Yep, just like he says "I've got a disease, deep inside me, makes me feel uneasy, baby. I can't live without you, tell me what am I sposed to do about it?"

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I have alot of things to write about...however, I have fabulous pictures that need to go with my witty ramblings. Again, this illustrates that I need to stop being so lazy and get around to getting them ready.

A few things I can say:

I got my faux "maternity" shirts in the mail yesterday. I am wearing one today, and it is so damn comfy. Most importantly, it covers the bella band extremely well and I haven't had to adjust it all day. Yep, I look like a pregnant lady. :)

My aversion to orange juice is over. I am eating clementines and guzzling oj like no other.

On a completely different note, why do airline prices keep going up while the cost of gas is falling? I need to get some flights, particularly one for my Ohio baby shower, and they were affordable for about one day before they started to rise. I am agitated by this.

Plus I have a raging headache. I am not in a very good mood, can you tell?