Work days are hectic for both of us, especially ones that are the first day of the week we are both at work and Isaac is at daycare. I get home and put a pre-made dinner in the oven, do about 10 million chores, and get everything ready for the morning while the baby watches Baby Einstein or sleeps or plays for 30-45 minutes. Its a hectic time in order to get everything done. We are all tired and aching to go to bed.
Well, when he gets home, I usually pass Isaac off to Ben so I can get dinner out of the oven and get Isaac's bath ready. Yesterday night, I was flying around the house and the dinner timer went off. I went to take the baby back so Ben could eat.
"No, we're fine. I like to hold my boy."
I just kinda stopped. I don't know why it hit me the way it did. I just realized that yeah...he misses Isaac during the day too. He loves Isaac in a way I don't understand, that is different from the way I do. He takes care of him in a totally different way, but he enjoys it. He isn't afraid of him when he screams anymore and poopy diapers are tackled with no fear. I knew these things, I just never really took the time to think about them.
Ben has a relationship with Isaac unlike mine, but just as wonderful and rewarding. He has games he plays with him that Isaac won't play with me cause it's a daddy game. His mannerism are different around Ben and his expectations are different.I am hard on him for the way he does things for Isaac because it isn't the way that I, his mommy, does them. But the bottom line is, Isaac loves him and vice versa. And Ben knows how to take care of his son.
As I sat in the armchair and pumped, I looked over at the rest of my family on the couch. And I realized just how damn lucky we are. And how loved my baby boy is by both his parents.
It's completely different than what I have with Isaac, but its real and its there. Its a bond only known between father and son.
You see, daddies don't just love their children every now and then....it's a love without end, amen.