This morning I didn't get up when the alarm went off at 6 am. I heard it. And I woke up and prepared myself to get up.
But then I felt the little baby boy cuddled at my side, all warm and snuggly since about 4:45 when I positioned him for his morning feeding. My heart melted and I reset the alarm for 6:30. I spent the next 30 minutes cuddling my baby, holding him, nuzzling him, and just inhaling his baby smell. I didn't go back to sleep. I just closed my eyes and relished my sleeping angel.
The alarm went off and we both woke up this time. It was time to start the day. My heart broke again at daycare, as his sad little face watched me go back to the car and leave him. I was late for work. I was only about 10 minutes late (no elaborate hair styles or make up today...).
But I didn't care. It was the best 30 minutes I have spent in a long time. It made me crave more. And it made me think about some changes I can make. Changes to better my life and that of my son. Today is now filled with soul searching.
I don't just want stolen moments.