Pregnancy changes your body.
Duh, right? I know it does. Or I should say as soon as I saw that second line appear on the POAS test, I knew my body was going to change.
What I did not know was HOW it was going to change. And a commercial advertising a test group for getting rid of stretch marks really made me stop to think about just how much my body had gone through.
Sure, you know about the big belly and hear about the stretch marks. Ah, the stretch marks. One of the things I was vainfully concerned about throughout my pregnancy was the dreaded stretch marks and I worked so hard to keep them away. Seriously, I slathered the cocoa butter on three times a day and took a bath in baby oil every few days. And it worked....until the last few weeks. All of a sudden, I just stopped. I don't know why...coulda been fatigue, forgetfullness...who knows. But one day I woke up looking like the cat had attacked my belly. Red lines EVERYWHERE.
And the stretch marks didn't stop there. Oh no, they graced me with their presence on the back of my knees (which I didn't, of course, discover until after my delivery when I could see my knees again). The most recent appearance is on my boobs from them being engorged milk factories.
And that is not all that has changed. I had extreme breakouts right after I delivered, and just before as well. My hormones were going nutso. It's better now that I have my BFF, the IUD, but the breakouts I get are much different than those of yesteryears.
My body shape is different...again, Duh. I am well below my pre-preggo weight. My waistline is thinner than I have seen it in forever. Since I delivered in January, I have dropped about 50 pounds. 50. Before you smack me, hear this: My pre-preggo jeans still don't fit me. The weight came off from random places, and I still have some around my middle. My shape is totally different.
And at the risk of giving TMI....I had never ever had hemmroids or UTIs before I was preggo.
But I am NOT complaining. And I say this next sentence with 100% sincerity.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY BODY NOW.
Seriously. LOOOOOVE it. I have never been so happy with it. And not because of the way it looks, but because of what the way it looks means.
Do I care if I am losing weight? Yes, but more so that I am losing too much and my milk will go to poo.
Do I want the stretch marks to go away? Who wouldn't? But I don't mind them.
Everytime I look in the mirror and seen the circular pattern of fading red lines that I refer to as "the dreamcatcher," or try those jeans on again a few days later....I see something I never knew was there.
I love my body because it was able to conceive a baby. It was able to safely grow and nourish that baby for 37 weeks with little to no complications. It was able to deliver me a beautiful healthly son. And it is able to feed that son what he needs when he needs it.
And everytime I see the stretch marks, I don't look at them as a reminder of what my body won't ever be again or isn't anymore.
I see them as a reminder of what I can do, and I am finally comfortable in my own skin.