In The Spirit of Things

As I have mentioned previously, my husband is a bit of a paranormal fanatic. This week has been like heaven for him, with all the shows having Halloween Marathons and such. This led to him telling me the tales of his own experiences, and scaring the crap out me. Yeah, I have pretty much been freaked out all week due to the enhanced quantities of exposure to these tales. Every sound I hear, my heart starts racing and I am afraid to look in the mirror or turn around for fear of what I will see.

Anyhoo, in the spirit of Halloween, I thought I would shall some of my own "freaky" experiences. Paranormal? Well, I can't say. Wierd though, and I might just be crazy. And I have to practice my ghost storytelling anyway. I am sure Isaac is going to be just like his father. Boys will be boys, right?

Here goes! Hold on to your butts!

Ben used to live in an apartment with his twin in T-town, OH. The summer before we moved out to CA, I used to stay there pretty much every night. I worked 4, yes 4, jobs and had crazy schedules. Ben worked second shift. I don't know where his brother was...maybe he worked second too. Anyway, I used to be alone alot of the time there at night.

One night I was laying in bed, almost asleep. I heard Ben throw his keys and change down on the bedside table he had, and then felt Ben flop down onto the bed. I rolled over and said hi and felt across the bed. There was no one there. So I thought maybe he had gotten up to go to the bathroom. I sat up and saw there was absolutely nothing on the table.

Hmmmm...

In the same apartment, I sometimes would fall asleep on the huge sectional they had while watching TV. I used to set the sleep timer though and Ben would wake me up to move to the bed when he got home. As a gift, I had bought Ben this funny little hippo pillow, which is now Isaac's, and I used to fall asleep with that, because I have to wrap my arms around a pillow (Ok, maybe it was really a gift for me...). One night, I set the sleep timer and soon fell asleep, hippo in my arms. In the midst of a dream or something I heard a low growling in my ear. In my sleep, I thought "What the hell is that? It sounds like a demon!" and tried to wake up. When I opened my eyes, the TV was on the white static channel. It was about 3 hours after I had set the sleep timer to turn off after 60 minutes. And the hippo pillow was propped up in the arm chair across the room.

Double hmmm......

Happy Halloween everyone! :)

Lil' Punkin

Our trip to the Pumpkin Patch when Nonnie was visiting. Isaac loved the ponies and the straw. And yes, I made him festive. :)

Nine

Isaac is 9 months old as of yesterday. NINE whole months! He's has come so far in the past month, the most significant change being his newfound mobility.

He's FAST. He zooms right along, and gets into all kinds of trouble. I can't contain him. I discovered that we apparently live in some kind of Dr. Suess house with crazy windows and CROOKED DOORFRAMES that no baby gate will properly fit. I gave up on that idea and now we just shut the doors. I have NO idea what we are going to do about the kitchen though...and it is one of Isaac's favorite places to zoom through. He also discovered the kitty box. Nuff said. Again, I don't know what we are going to do about that. Suggestions?

He talks up a storm. He says Dada, Hot, and Kitty cat...which comes out itty ah. It's cute. No Mama though. He gives High Fives really well and likes to bite my nose.

We gave up the bath sling. He just sits up now. Well, most of the time. He discovered he can crawl in the tub. And every morning he is sitting up in the crib. Or in the middle of the night when he is screaming.

Yes, that's right. He still does not sleep through the night. Although, since the crawling began, he is sleeping better.

He loves to take toys out of boxes. I bought him one of those jackolantern pails and he loves it. He has one of those shape sorter toys too, and all he does is take everything out. Then he cries when there is nothing left inside! He likes to babble on the phone and whack things with his hammer.

Still only has the two teeth. But the drooling has come back full force, so I am thinking the next ones are on their way. He eats all kinds of things now, most importantly meats and breakfast. And he feeds himself really well with his fingers. We are going to try some jello tonight. He loves those little mesh things that he can suck the food through. Not such a fan of scrambled eggs though.

And we are thinking he needs a hair cut soon. It's getting pretty long back there! :)

We carved his first jackolantern last night. We let him play with the innards and stem. He definately seemed more interested in the towel we used to wipe off with. :) He's an easy child to please.

A 9 month old child, but still easy to please. :)

9 Down, 3 To Go

As of today, I have made it through 9 months of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding and pumping. That means I only have 3 to go. Does this mean I am in the homestretch?!

I feel rather accomplished. I never knew the breastfeeding was so intensive. I thought it would be easy. No seriously, I did.

I was not prepared for all the hormone surges and shifts. All the pain. The 2 cases of slight mastitis, which were HORRIBLE, and I can't imagine having a severe case. All the milk stained clothes.

About a month ago, I hit a wall and got lazy. I didn't want to pump, because let's face it....it's not fun. It seemed tedious and I just started slcaking off...and then so did my milk supply. And then I FREAKED.

So the next week or so was spent revving up my milk supply. I went back to taking Fenugreek relilgiously. I added an extra pumping session into my day. After Isaac nursed, I pumped. Lo and behold, the milk came back. It still is nothing like it was when he was a newborn, but it's enough to make me feel confident we will make it to the 1 year mark. We will most likely switch to just pumping around the 11 month mark, to fully transition Isaac to bottles. He still retaliates against them from time to time. Mostly when he is really tired or feeling sick.

Yay me! 9 down...3 more to go. The finish line is in sight.

Wanna Be A Crawler?

Ok, first things first: When did it get to be Fall? Or in California's case, where did my Fall go and why did we skip straight to Winter rainy season? Seriously, it seems like 3 weeks ago it was over 100 degrees and Isaac was wearing shorts (Note: It actually was 3 weeks ago that it was this temperature, and I don't wear shorts because I hate my knees).


Anyway, I HAVE A MOBILE BABY!


Yesterday I received a text message from my husband at home with Isaac saying "where's the camcorder?" I responded with the location and inquired as to the need. I got this response: "Guess who's crawling?"


Instantly, I cursed the fact that I had decided to come into work for a half day (since I had to skip Friday because my daycare lady was sick and closed) and begged for him to set up the webcam. He did. And as soon as he put the laptop on the floor across from Isaac, the little man took off toward it on all fours.


I have never been so proud and so sad at the same time. I started to cry. I was so happy that after weeks of teetering and rocking back and forth on his hands and knees and scooting backwards, my sweet baby finally figured out how to to crawl. I was sad because it was just one more way my sweet baby was no longer reliant on me and was growing up way too fast.


I watched him for about 30 minutes as he crawled around his play area, as did both sets of grandparents. When I went home, he crawled up a storm for me on our hallway rug and in his room. And then again in our dining room, where he discovered the wine rack and reached for the bottles. It was promptly moved to the basement (where it should probably be anyway) and so the babyproofing begins.


Every unused outlet now has a Precious Planet outlet cover in it. Corners are covered with rounded edges. And baby gates must be purchased to contain this roving baby who is thoroughly enjoying his new found freedom.

He slept like a log last night, and woke up once because he had gas. (I know it was gas because he has started on brocolli. And he has decided he hates drinking anything now. We have to force him to drink. And we he woke up, screaming in gas pain, I was transported back to the days of newbornness in which he used to scream from gas on those days that his nouveau mommy indlugled herself in heaps of chocolate and caffeine and garlic. ) Hopefully, this new stage of movement also marks one of sleeping through the night oh please dear god!!!!!!!

And he still remembered how to crawl this morning. :) He got on all fours and started rocking, and then it was like a light went off saying "oh wait! I figured this out yesterday!" Off he went. :)

He also has been in sitting up by himself for a while. Every time I go to his crib in the morning, there he sits! It is so cute to watch. He rolls from back to stomach to all fours and then swings his leg out and plops his bottom down. That has been going on for about 2 weeks now.

AND...

this morning he crawled over to his little bench and proceeded to grab on and try to hoist himself into standing. Sigh. Time for the walker? He loves to stand up and hold onto things. We have been doing that for a bout a week and he is not so wobbly anymore. He was trying to stand from his sitting position, rolling underneath his jumperoo and trying to hoist himself up from there. No go.

I have a feeling that is about to change. :)

Watch out warning for my kitty cats! Here comes Isaac! :)

Curses! Foiled Again!

Along with "Eureka! I have found it! ", this is one of my favorite things to yell out while shakng my fists.

Anyway, I like to hold things over my husband's head as far as Isaac is concerned. It's not that I want him to be a bad parent, or even have the slightest inclination to think that he is. I just like to be the stellar mommy. And I like my husband to know how damn hard it is to be at home with a baby and keep the house from looking like a bomb hit it and keep the cats alive and make sure there is food to eat, etc. So there are certain things that I can get Isaac to do that he can't, that just make me feel better about myself as a parent.

One of those things was Isaac's three hour naps that allow mommy to sleep. Notice I said WAS. On my days off, I can ALWAYS get Isaac to go back to sleep in the morning after he has been awake for a couple hours. And then he sleeps for about 3 hours. It's marvelous. Ben could never do this. He would get maybe an hour, tops. And while I sympathized because I know what it is like to have a fussy, cranky, tired baby, I secretly gloated because I had special magical mommy powers.

And then on Monday, aka Daddy Daycare Day, I came home to a sleeping crew. Upon waking up, I asked Ben how long they had been sleeping. His reply? Since about 2. IT WAS ALMOST 5.

Dammit! He figured out the secret!

The picture is a little skewed cause they were laying on the reclining sofa. And Isaac had jsut woken up and looked irritated that I disturbed his nap. Yep, he likes to be snuggled against your side. After he falls asleep, I always move him because I can't nap like Ben can. At least not comfortably in that position.

Anyway, NOT FAIR! I mean come on. He already says "Dada." (Well, he says it at everything...ex. "Isaac, what is the kitty's name?" "Dada!")

Sigh.

Ben also taught him to high-five. If you hold up your hand and say "Isaac, high-five! Gimme five!", he will slap your hand and laugh. It's adorable.

In other news, my mother is coming today. Given this, yesterday Ben took some baby stuff (aka 3 ginormous rubbermaid containers full of NB-6 month clothes, blankets, swaddlers, etc.) to the basement. And then he took it upon himself to take the bassinet down too.

GASP! He told me over the phone, and I almost started crying at work. Seriously.

I know it was time. And Isaac hasn't been in his bassinet for MONTHS. It has just been sitting against my bedroom wall, empty. Well, not empty. I holds my sweater and our throw pillows....and maybe some other stuff that I am too lazy to put away. But I just wasn't ready.

So when I went home I stared at the place where it had been, now replaced with our hampers, and held an imaginary newborn in my arms and teared up.

Ben was understanding. I asked him why he took it away. He ahd a great answer in saying he was already putting away masses of baby gear, so it might as well be together. And also that he new I wouldn't take it down on my own.

Again, sigh. He does know me well.

Blogroll

A friend commented that I have alot of blogs on my blogroll. Yes, yes I do. And yes, I keep up with most of them.

No, I really do. I may not read them all every single day or as soon as there is a new post. I don't get a chance to comment on every single post that I would like to. But, each day I pick a few and catch up on them. I laugh at other's witty antecdotes and jokes. I smile at their pictures. My heart breaks for their sorrows. For the time that I am reading, I get to escape my life and step into someone else's.

There is a reason I read each and every blog on my list.

And those blogs are pretty diverse across the spectrum. Some of the mommy-blogs I read are those of people who deal with infertility and tought pregnancies. This was not my situation, but I read them because those women inspire me. I appreciate their perservance and their desire to have children. I read anxiously for their announcements of pregnancies. Although their stories are not related to mine in certain terms, we all have one thing in common: We love our babies and are trying to relish every day we have as being a mother. There are mother's on there that had babies within days and weeks of Isaac's birth. We share their growth and development. We talk about our struggles as new parents. We seek the advice of our peers and those who have been parents longer than we have. I read what mothers of several children have to say. The bottom line is that now matter how we got to be the mother we are, we are mothers in the same.

And that it the key. We are separated by miles upon miles, and in all actuality will most likely never meet one another. But we know each other. And we are not alone.

I am pretty much separated from all of my friends and family but thousands of miles. Even my friends in California are a good couple of hours around me. I don't have alot of people around me who can help me in my life on a day to day basis. Not the way that family and close friends can. I don't like to feel alone. So I blog.

I blog for me. I blog to get out the story of my life so if friends and family want to read it, it's there. I blog because I am pressed for time and can't call each and every person I want to every day to update them on our life as parents. But my blog provides a place that they can go at their own leisure, if they so desire.

I read the blogs of friends who aren't parents. I read about their lives and where they are going, what they are doing. I feel more in touch and more grounded.

And these people who share their lives, these wonderful people who write the blogs that I read...they keep me from feeling completely alone. They provide me with answers, with guidance, with an outlet. They tell their stories, and I tell mine. And we are never alone.

rock ME hardplace

Get it? I am between a rock and a hardplace? :)

Isaac has been loving daycare. He loves Miss K, his friends, the activity. But lately he has been very clingy. He wants to be held all the time. And he always wants someone in his sight. Perhaps it is the start or onset of separation anxiety. Whatever it is, it is taking its toll on my and Ben, and Miss K.

This week when I drop him off at daycare, he has cried when I put him down and left. And it broke my heart. I teared up in the car and cursed everyone and their brother that I had to go to work and not be with my baby.

This morning was different. He didn't cry. He didn't fuss. He didn't notice. And THAT broke my heart just as much. I teared up in the car and cursed everyone and their brother that I had to go to work and not be with my baby, and he didn't seem to notice.

It's not that I WANT my baby to cry. I don't. But it is just as biting when he doesn't cry.

So what am I to do? This week has been really rough on me. I don't know what to do. Obvisiously changes need to be made, I just don't know how to go about them. Or even what decisions are best.

I love my job. I love having "me" time. But I love my baby more.

This rock and hardplace is really giving me a headache.