...man, it's HARD work! :)
Everyone says it and everyone hears it....you just don't know how it will actually be until you are thrown into it. There is no way to accurately describe it to anyone, you just have to experience it for yourself.
Yeah, it is very trying at times.
Take last night for example: Isaac decided to go to bed at 6 instead of 8:30 to 9 ish like normal. This was partly my fault. I let him jumperoo most of the day because he has so much fun doing it and I got so many good pictures and videos. It keeps him occupied for a good hour every time. Regardless, it makes him sleepy as all heck. So bath time and oatmeal cereal bottle time rolled around and the boy was out. Into the crib we went. And slept until about 9, woke up to eat...back into the crib...woke up and 11:30 and was up. He was up and ready to rock until 2. 2 AM. I can't do 2 AM when I have to work the next day.
It didn't help that my husband was restless and unable to fall asleep. He had worked later than usual due to inventory, so everyone was thrown off.
I tried everything to get him back to sleep. He nursed and acted sleepy but no avail. Finally I gave up the fight and took him to the couch to watch Lullaby Time Baby Einstein. He watched it while I snoozed. It worked pretty well....he nursed one more time and was finally back to sleep. It was 2 AM. I have to get up at 5:30.
And that didn't happen. I got up at 6:30. Still made it to work on time but was faced with a semi-difficult decision.
Isaac was still sleeping at 7:30 when I was getting ready to leave. The question loomed: do I wake him to feed him and change him, or let him sleep and let Ben deal with it? Note: I hear the first little whimpers of him waking...Ben doesn't. Herego, by the time he does hear Isaac, the baby is pretty upset. I woke Ben up and lef the decision to him...he opted to letting sleeping babies lie.
That is one of the easier decisions involved in parenting. Some of the ones we have made already have been somewhat difficult. And I know the more difficult ones are yet to come. Making these decisions completely exercises every emotion and intellectual cell of my being. And although, I am confident in my decisions, there are still times that I look back on them and waver ever so slightly.
Another example: We started cereal and solid food early. I technically gave Isaac cereal about a week before the 4 month mark (seriously, in those 7 days what is really going to change? If he's allergic, he is going to be allergic.). And then I started the solids cereal way before the 5 month mark. In my mothering opinion, he was ready. And this is what was best. No matter what the doctor says or recommends, I had made up my mind. And most likely we will start the white and orange solid foods at 5 months, once the cereals are well established. Again, this is against what the Dr. says, but we stand firm in our decision.
I know as parents, we just want what is best for our children. We want them to be healthy, safe, and happy individuals. I have always known this, even going into the whole pregnancy and parenthood thing. But it's true...nothing prepares you for the decisions and experiences you will have as a parents until you are thrown into it. No matter how many books you read, how many people give you tips and advice...it all boils down to how you actually handle it.
The decisions and experiences are hard. No question. Being Isaac's mother has already pushed my limits very much. It's made me think of things I never would have otherwise. It's made me change aspects of my life to better my son that most likely would not have changed by any other means. But the other addage that is so so very true...being a parent is one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have...and you just won't know how much so until you are in it.