Illegal

There are many laws that are passed, and you have no idea what people were thinking when they were written because it really doesn't make sense. I will fully admit that some of those laws are pretty whacky and you wonder who they even apply to, because they are so crazy. And then I think, hmmm, wait a second....it's a LAW....so it applies to EVERYONE....

Like in California, it is illegal to TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE AND DRIVE. The State just upped the fine, too. I think this is a fantastic law, and I am being 100000% serious. I can't wait until the law prohibiting TEXTING and driving is passed.

I am the first to admit that I am a pretty bad driver. I get road rage fairly easily. I used to have a massive commute that landed me in rush hour traffic into and out of San F.rancisco, letting me sit in bumper to bumper traffic for about 2.5 hours each way. I will admit that I talked on my phone then. I actually planned to call people then, because I was stuck in traffic. But you know, when the law was passed, I shelled out the $40 for a BlueTooth.

Then I had Isaac. And there is something about driving with the most precious little human being in your back seat that opens your eyes to fountains of @$$#@!$ spewing onto the road. I slowed down. I stopped following so closely. I started looking around alot more and furiously checking my blindspot. And I can't tell you how many people I still see talking on their phones or TEXTING and not paying attention to the road. I am not talking about people who send a rapid message at red lights. Which I will admit, I have done. But not just to kill time at the red light. It has been to say "10 minutes late."

Let me tell you something. It doesn't matter how well you think you can "multitask." No one should be multitasking while DRIVING A VEHICLE THAT CAN KILL PEOPLE. Not only is that an immature thing to say and believe, but it's naive. I really don't give two $#!*$ how well you think you multitask. If the phone call or text message is that important, YOU PULL OVER. If you absolutely have to talk on the phone, shell out the $20 for a BlueTooth you cheapskate, and quit risking my life and my baby's life because you think you are just too good a driver to get in an accident with talking on the phone. I am a great multitasker. But I don't do it while driving. I am educated enough to know the dangers. And I appreciate the lives of strangers driving next to me. I can't think of one person who I would say "This phone call is more important than your life" to. Not one. Not even people I don't like. Not even the CEO of BP, who I am pretty sure is on most people's $#!& list these days.

And another thing? Putting your phone on speakerphone and holding it by your chin and not your ear? NOT HANDS FREE, dumbass.

There is enough danger that comes from driving on the roadways. I don't need anymore. No one does.

The other day, I was talking to my mother on my BlueTooth. It died. She called back, and I knew she was probably worried about the sudden hang up, so guess what? I pulled over, put my car in park, answered the phone and "My BlueTooth died, I can't talk anymore." IT TOOK 30 SECONDS.

I am serious when I say this. If I am in an accident caused by someone who was talking on their phone sans handsfree set or texting while driving, GOD HELP THEM. GOD HELP THEM IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ISAAC BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD "MULTITASK." I will cut you something fierce. I will rip you apart with my bare hands if you hurt my baby. Even if you are Ro.b Tho.mas. I WILL CUT YOU. The next time you think about answering your phone, look at the car next to you, or in front of you, behind you. I bet that person is someone's mother. Or father. Or child. And think about having to tell that person's family that you killed you them because you thought you had great "multitasking" abilities.

And you know what else? If you read this and take offense? I don't care. I really don't. It probably means that you talk or text while driving. And remind me to never ride with you while you are driving. IT'S ILLEGAL. Illegal means that everyone falls under the same laws. Whether you think it's stupid or not.

Really, it's not rocket science.