When I was about 7 and a half months pregnant, hormones raging, I told my husband that I wanted to go back to school. I made this decision based on a commericial. I don't remember the commercial, and in all likelihood, it was for Ra.gu or carpet installation. This commercial was so impactful, I felt the need to wake up my husband and share the great decision I just made. I mean, great! I wanted to go back to school!
My husband, being the tactful man he is, especially when awoke by his wife who was NOT in labor or bleeding profusely, rolled his eyes and went back to sleep. Whatever, I was all in my zone and was already thinking about what school I wanted to go to and what I wanted to study.
The next day, my husband nixed my idea. COMPLETELY. He simply said, you can't make life-altering decisions when your hormones are like this.
And you know, as much as it pains me to say, he was absolutely right.
A few days later, I was over my back to school obsession. And I was glad I hadn't seriously gone after it, because now the thought of spending another 4+ years in school seemed absolutely, certifiably INSANE.
My new one was cutting all my hair off and dyeing it a different color.
Again, not allowed to do so, because of the hormone thing.
I felt like this many times throughout the past year, all during stages in which my hormones were completely out of whack. Right after I gave birth, when my milk supply came in, when my IUD was put in, and now that I have stopped nursing and my hormones are assumably trying to stablize themselves.
And my thoughts aren't rationale. Combined with sleep deprivation and working and everything else, I manage to come up with some doozies.
I am lucid enough to know that these ideas really aren't good or even logical ones. Still, in that moment, I think that they are the best ideas I have ever had and I can't figure out why my friends and family aren't roaring with support. Quite a few of my friends are pregnant now and just getting into the hormones. Oh, the hormones! I try my best to be tactful and supportive because I have been there. I am still there.
There are certain areas of my life that I want to change or at least work on changing. I am hoping that now my hormones are steadying out, I will be able to make decisions with more ration and logic, rather than...well...my hormones.