Wednesday, January 6, 2010

It all comes back to "Frien.ds"

Do you remember the episode of "Fri'ends" in which Rachel has just brought Emma home from the hospital and is watching her sleep with Phoebe and Monica? She says "I can't believe how much I love her. Like right now, I miss her. I actually miss her." Phoebe says "You know that's her, right?" Then Rachel picks her up and Emma proceeds to scream and cry for the rest of the episode.

Before Isaac was born, I was Phoebe. I didn't get it. I knew parents loved their babies, but I just did really GET it. And, I am Rachel.

Yes, there are times and have been times that my baby is right next to me, but I miss him. I miss holding him, cuddling him, talking to him, kissing him, playing with him. He's right there. But I miss him.

Last night after Isaac went to sleep, I went in to tuck him in and make sure he was cozy and warm. After his was snug under his blanket, I just stood there, staring at him. And man, oh man, did I miss that kid. I was absolutely aching to pick him up and hold him.

I am not going to lie. Sometimes I do pick him up. I wait until he is in a deep sleep and then I pick him up, and we go to the recliner and cuddle in the light of the TV screen. I learned the hard way to at least wait until he is truly out before picking him up. 9 times out of 10, I let him sleep. I know how important his sleep routine is, and I don't want to even risk waking him up.

But sometimes I just miss him too much.


Stacie said...

I can relate to that sooo soo much. After putting Laney to bed at night, I tell my husband, "I miss her so much." He says, "She's just in the other room." I tell him that I miss her when she's asleep.

There are so many times that I want to go and pick her up too. I force myself to leave her alone in her crib because I worked so hard to get her to like her crib, lol.

There are even those nights that I hope she wakes up on her own wanting me just so I can finally snuggle her more.

I do this at least a few times a least.

Amanda said...

I sooo understand. Boy do I understand. It's a beautiful thing. :-)