Surreal

My friend H had her beautiful baby boy this weekend. She sent me a photo of him, like every new mother does for her friends and family. Her texts with questions about nursing and such are bringing back floods of memories. Her baby is so teeny tiny, it makes my uterus hurt. I remember when Isaac was that size, so small that he fit on his daddy's legs with room to spare, so small he fit perfectly in the crook of my elbow. I remember, but I don't.

I put together a box of things for Isaac to have when he is older. This box has all the letters I have written him, cards he received before he was born, birthday and holiday cards from his first year, photos....and it has a newborn diaper, the first pair of booties he received as a gift, and his outfit he came home from the hospital in.

It seems surreal to me that my baby ever fit in one of those itsy bitsy diapers, and that it was actually BIG on him.

It seems surreal that the newborn size sleeper and hat I carefull selected for him to come home in was swimming on him at one point.

For that matter, I nursed Isaac for over 10 months. I don't remember that. I mean, I do. But I read about how milk supply and all that fun stuff from other people, and yeah, that seems surreal too.

Last night, I was laying on the couch watching TV (yep, was totally watching "The Bachelorette") and texting back and forth with my newly mom-ed friend. It made me miss the days, this time last year, that Isaac wouldn't sleep unless we rocked him and sang to him. I kept thinking to myself how I had justed told my friend to cherish every precious fleeting moment.

With that very comment in mind, I went to Isaac's room and pulled my 16 month boy into my arms and cuddled him.

And I am not sorry for one moment because I know that this time next year, this exact moment will be just as surreal.