Last Friday...I have no words. I cried. I held my baby and cried. I didn't tell him "no" once that weekend. I cried so may times this past weekend. My heart broke for so many families who had something so precious taken from them.
My husband turned my alarm off on Saturday morning, and I woke up late...very late for what I had planned. But I woke up to my beautiful little boy's face, and I was so grateful that I, unlike 20 other sets of parents, saw my baby's face on a new morning.
I'm heartbroken for those families.
This morning, something happened to me that hasn't happened before. Like many other mothers that I know, I hesitated when I dropped my son off at preschool. I hugged him extra tight and gave him more kisses than he wanted causing him to say "Mommy...I want to go play!" I let him go and sat in my car and cried.
I cried because now I had an irrational fear that my baby was in danger.
I cried because that monster took something from every single mother and father in this country. He took the feeling of safety that I had knowing that my son was safe at his school. I have never been afraid to drop my son off anywhere, fearing that he wasn't safe.
I know that he is safe. I believe he is at safe at his school. But I am sure those parents also believed that very same thing.
I cried because last night, my husband and I had to talk to my not even 4 year old about what he should do in an emergency.
"If someone is trying to hurt you, you run and hide. You hide and don't come out until someone you know comes to get you. If you get scared, you hide. Promise me you will hide"
"If your teachers tell you that something is an emergency, you do what she says. You stay quiet and you do what she tells you."
I'm mad. I'm beyond mad.
As mothers, parents...we have enough to worry about in regards to our children's safety. Sending them to school shouldn't be one of them. Ever.