Sunday, May 29, 2011

Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again

We aren't leaving on a jet plane, per say, but we are leaving. And soon, which is very bittersweet.

It's been FOREVER since I posted. I have been so completely consumed with one task or another relating to the move.

We have sold two cars, paid off one, and purchased a brand new 2011 Equinox. It's a Mommy car, and I LOVE it. Isaac loves it. He has so much space. This is the car I will be driving across the country in the next month or so.

We (READ: I) have started sorting through things (READ: Piles of crap I have accumulated in the 8 years since we have lived in California) and started to give stuff away, sell things, throw stuff away. Seriously, we moved out here with almost nothing. How did we end up with so much stuff?! I also started packing up vestigial stuff we don't need on a day to day basis. Photo frames, magnets, books, CDs, knick knacks etc.

My replacement started at work. I am trying to get her to a good place before I leave. My last day of work is in two weeks, after which I need to put my packing game face on. I will have about one month to find a place for us to live and pack up.

I closed out bank accounts that there is no need to have anymore. Like the one the bank made us open when we got our car loan. It had $5 in it. My old Mary Kay accounts got closed as did my old SARP from Victoria's Secret. It was just a wierd investment account that wasn't making money or losing money. I was going to get hit with fees if I changed anything in the structure so I just closed it. Can we say "Blood Money"? Because that is what it was.

I have started scouting places to live in Ohio. We still don't have an exact location where my husband will be working but have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 towns where we are looking to live. That's all I want to say about that because it makes my blood pressure rise when I think about it.

I also started looking for daycares. We decided that it makes the most sense for Isaac to attend daycare in the town where my university is, in case he gets sick or whatnot. I hate daycare searches.

I started my last time list in California and SF. Pork Store, Cable Car, Muir Woods, Pier 39, etc. All needs visited one last time.

Which got me thinking about saying goodbye. To friends. And I can't think about that. When we left Ohio, I spent about 4 or 5 days crying all day after saying good bye to one person or another. It sucked. I can't do that again. It was too sad. And I am pretty sure it isn't healthy for Isaac to see. I want him to understand that we are doing something great for us, not sad. I mean, it is sad, but I just don't want him to think that something is horribly wrong when Mommy is crying all the time.

I came to the decision that as I see people, I just won't tell them it's the last time I will see them in a while. I can't do that again. I have a little over a month left and I am going to try to see all my friends at least once more. But that might not be possible. Big Sad Panda. :(  There are people out here that it breaks my heart to think about leaving. And we honestly don't know exactly when we will see these people again.

This decision is the best one for us and we are 100% positive of this. We are anxious to get back to family and friends in Ohio. We are excited at what the future holds for us in this next chapter of our lives. I am giddy at the thought of going back to school and back to research. But this next phase, before the's already proving to be a tough one.


Jenni said...

I am in the same boat as you now! I remember when you left me...:(

Stacie said...

Your readers will be here whenever you get settled into your new home. Until then, I hope the move goes smoothly for you and your family.

Have safe travels and update when you can.

- Stacie

Gail said...

I'm so sad you're leaving, but so happy you're heading home to be with family and friends out there. I'm so lucky I got to see you for so long!