Luna Lu

One of the many changes we have gone through since moving is adopting a puppy. She's a Siberian Husky and she will be HUGE mongous. I swear every time she goes behind the sofa and comes back out she is bigger. Her name is Luna. Her full name is Luna Lu Elizabeth Lahman (Remember, I have a disease where I have to name all my animals with full names). We love her.

Well, most times.

I mean, she's a puppy. She cries. She isn't house broken. I have a two and half year old who is potty training.

My husband fell in love with her. I couldn't say no. The agreement was that he would house break the dog and I would potty train our son. Guess how that is going? Guess who is getting up with the dog at 3 am to walk her? And guess what else? Sprinkling carpet deodorizer on white carpet is a BAD idea. My carpet looks gray now. And I have gone over it 3 times.

She pisses me off to no end. She chews things, like my husband's Tumi wallet and our brand new floor lamp. She craps all over. She splashes toilet water all over the house. It's hard to explain to a toddler that if he runs around and screams that Luna thinks he is playing with her and that's why she bites. The cats hate her. Layla has become a basement-bedroom kitty. Guiliani has become rather indifferent and tolerates her unless she gets too close.

But by golly, do we ever love this doggie. :)

Fresh Starts

Today was my first day as a PhD student. My first day of a new chapter of a new life. I taught 2 lab sections, had my own lab meeting, ran a bunch of errands and let me tell you...I AM BUSHED.

And deliriously happy.

I have been thinking a great deal about what to write about. I feel like I am so behind in blogging...probably because I am. I have excuses, but I don't have any. I just don't know what I want my tone to be anymore. I am funny, but not super funny. I am still writing about Isaac but not like I used to. This blog started as a way for me to communicate with everyone I loved, including my baby, about what was happening so far away. Somewhere in there, it turned into a out let. It turned into a community. I still want that. It just seems like with so many new things happening that I need to have some type of new forum.

So...I am just going to keep writing. Just like I have been. Except actually writing. :)

This will still be the space for me to clear my head, and to think out loud. It will still be the place that I talk about our triumphs as parents and a family and our pitfalls. I will still daydream about our future.

I just need to get back into the swing of a busy happy life.

Settling

After 9 states, 6 days, and almost 3000 miles, I am happy to report that myself, Isaac, Ben, Layla and Guiliani arrived at our new domicile in Bowling Green, Ohio. OHIO!!!

It's been a crazy week, trying to get settled in, playing my ever favorite game of "Where the EFF did I pack that?!", and setting up a house, not to mention gearing myself up to face my ghosts and enter 4 years of school. So far, so good. The house is shaping up very nicely (I don't think we will buy, another story for another day) and things are getting put away and organized (ahem, THROWN OUT, ahem). We are SETTLING into this new life, one that is so familiar and yet brand new and the same time.

I can't even describe how amazing it feels to be back here. It's so wonderful to be able to plan things with the people we love and not have time constraints. We don't have to cram everything and everyone into one week visits. We are planning our lives in long term. We are surrounded by family and friends, everywhere. The time in California was amazing. I couldn't have asked for better experiences, to meet more amazing and beautiful people, and to be blessed with the opportunities we had. But we are HOME. The time away made us realize how much we do belong here. This is where we need to be at this time in our lives. California is where my soul is, but my heart is here in Ohio. And it always will be. We are not settling for lives we are just okay with, but we have found the place where we want to SETTLE down and put down  new roots while embracing ours.

The ghosts...I am working on. This town, the university...they have this lingering stigma. I drive past places, buildings, roads even...and this wave of sadness, anger, and anxiety punches me in the gut. I'm coping. I am prepping myself for the inevitable: walking past the Marine Lab. But that year, that time in my life, it doesn't own me anymore. I remind myself everytime that I CAN DO THIS. I am not afraid. I am still alive, and I won't let my dream die. I won't SETTLE for anything

Hello, Ohio. It's been awhile. But I am so glad you didn't forget my name. :)

Moving Updates

I am tired. So very tired. Here's why:

I finished up my last day of work last Friday (6/10). I thought I was busy at work. I trained a new person for a few aspects of my position, closed out what projects I could, passed work onto others, etc. I took last weekend off to decompress and gear up for this past week. Isaac and I went to Edition one last time with Aunties K and G (SOB!), ate at Bristol Farms, and walked through Chinatown so I could get more of my plates and buy Isaac toy cable cars.

I spend 2 days online, emailing, on the phone...trying to find a place to live. And I found us a great house that we are renting! It's absolutely perfect for us and it's really close to campus. What's better is we have a lease to buy option, so if we love it as much as I think we will, we will get that in line. Once we get settled, that is. :) Isaac has plenty of space and his own playroom off his bedroom!

I spent the next day getting a lease printed, signed, scanned, emailed and mailed.

I reserved the moving truck. Holy empty bank account, Batman! I got numerous quotes, joined AAA and booked the best deal.

I bought my BIL's ticket to come out and help us move.

I set up utilities and cable at the new house.

I made Dr's appointments for this next week.

I ordered a new keyboard for my laptop.

I ordered Isaac's Cars toddler bed.

I bought an iPad headrest mount for the long journey back east.

I bought another cat carrier, harness, and leash. Yep, that's necessary.

I took 2 cats to the vet to get up to date on their vaccinations, health certificates, and kitty valium.

I set up bank transfers for accounts we have autodeduct from, that don't have branches in Ohio.

I showed our rental here about 200 times. PAIN IN THE REAR. Our landlord is paying us to do it. Otherwise I wouldn't.

I started getting rid of stuff we (READ: I) don't want to move. Making lists of things to sell.

I called daycares to set up appointments for Isaac to come try them out.

I got my VS blood money claim and Medela pump claim filled out and mailed. Locating the receipt for my pump was fun, given the state of my guest room/office.

I mapped out or moving route. Now to call AAA to get my hotels.

Oh yeah, and totally forgot to mail the Father's Day cards I bought 2 weeks ago until Thursday.

I have three to-do lists. I have done returns. I have made purchases. My head hurts.

My logic is that I should drink up my almond champagne because it's one less thing I have to pack and move. I am also cleaning through my cupboards and freezer, which aren't too cluttered after my $10 a week challenge. Nevertheless, we will be having some interesting meals in the next few weeks.

This time next month, I will be a Buckeye again!

How McDonald's Changed My Life

When I hit the magical driving age, I naturally wanted a car. I shared this dire need with my parents, who said "no, what you want is a job." To have a car, I need money to buy a car. To get that money, I needed a job. I got the drift. After basketball season was over (I was a cheerleader, I had priorities!), my mother advised me to dress up and she would take me to pick up job applications.

I remember what I was wearing: a gray mock turtleneck and a blue plaid skirt. It was all the rage back then. I walked into the first place my mother took me: McDonald's. I approached the counter and asked for an application, which I filled out later that day. I got called for an interview. I got offered a job.

Let's be honest, here. No over really wants their job to be at McDonald's. But they were willing to work around my crazy schedule for my school activities and such. And I wanted to drive. I took the job, not knowing how working under the Golden Arches would change my life forever.

I met Ben a few weeks after I started working. He was a year older than me (and still is, duh) and went to a neighboring high school. We only worked Sundays together. He played baseball, so he was never there during the week when I worked. It was an instant crush for me, and I found myself checking the schedule to see when he worked. I had no idea he was doing the same thing. I would casually cross the parking lot to get ice cream cones after my gymnastics lessons (it was next door). He would show up to get burgers. We flirted on Sundays, until his very last shift before he quit. A few days before, I had let it slip to a coworker that I might like Ben. He passed it along and I am pretty sure to this day he takes credit for our relationship.

At the end of his last shift, Ben came up to me with a SeaWorld coupon that they used to hand out when it was still in Ohio. He asked for my phone number, which I wrote down. He folded the coupon up, stuck it in his wallet, and said he'd call me later. A week later we went on our first date, to Applebees and to see Godzilla, and the rest is history.

That was 13 years ago.

6 years ago today, we were standing at the altar constructed in the Grand Allee gazebo at the botanical gardens vowing forever and surrounded by everyone we loved.

When you know, you know. And we knew way back then, under those Golden Arches. Our relationship has not been smooth, nor perfect. We have been through ugly times. But day in and day out, we love each other more than we ever could have thought we would. No matter what kind of life we have, I can't imagine havign anyone else by my side. He's taken care of me, and of Isaac. He does what ever he needs to do to make sure every dream I have comes true. He knows me better than anyone else.

And he still has the Sea World Coupon folded up in his wallet.

Happy Anniversary to my incredible husband.

Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again

We aren't leaving on a jet plane, per say, but we are leaving. And soon, which is very bittersweet.

It's been FOREVER since I posted. I have been so completely consumed with one task or another relating to the move.

We have sold two cars, paid off one, and purchased a brand new 2011 Equinox. It's a Mommy car, and I LOVE it. Isaac loves it. He has so much space. This is the car I will be driving across the country in the next month or so.

We (READ: I) have started sorting through things (READ: Piles of crap I have accumulated in the 8 years since we have lived in California) and started to give stuff away, sell things, throw stuff away. Seriously, we moved out here with almost nothing. How did we end up with so much stuff?! I also started packing up vestigial stuff we don't need on a day to day basis. Photo frames, magnets, books, CDs, knick knacks etc.

My replacement started at work. I am trying to get her to a good place before I leave. My last day of work is in two weeks, after which I need to put my packing game face on. I will have about one month to find a place for us to live and pack up.

I closed out bank accounts that there is no need to have anymore. Like the one the bank made us open when we got our car loan. It had $5 in it. My old Mary Kay accounts got closed as did my old SARP from Victoria's Secret. It was just a wierd investment account that wasn't making money or losing money. I was going to get hit with fees if I changed anything in the structure so I just closed it. Can we say "Blood Money"? Because that is what it was.

I have started scouting places to live in Ohio. We still don't have an exact location where my husband will be working but have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 towns where we are looking to live. That's all I want to say about that because it makes my blood pressure rise when I think about it.

I also started looking for daycares. We decided that it makes the most sense for Isaac to attend daycare in the town where my university is, in case he gets sick or whatnot. I hate daycare searches.

I started my last time list in California and SF. Pork Store, Cable Car, Muir Woods, Pier 39, etc. All needs visited one last time.

Which got me thinking about saying goodbye. To friends. And I can't think about that. When we left Ohio, I spent about 4 or 5 days crying all day after saying good bye to one person or another. It sucked. I can't do that again. It was too sad. And I am pretty sure it isn't healthy for Isaac to see. I want him to understand that we are doing something great for us, not sad. I mean, it is sad, but I just don't want him to think that something is horribly wrong when Mommy is crying all the time.

I came to the decision that as I see people, I just won't tell them it's the last time I will see them in a while. I can't do that again. I have a little over a month left and I am going to try to see all my friends at least once more. But that might not be possible. Big Sad Panda. :(  There are people out here that it breaks my heart to think about leaving. And we honestly don't know exactly when we will see these people again.

This decision is the best one for us and we are 100% positive of this. We are anxious to get back to family and friends in Ohio. We are excited at what the future holds for us in this next chapter of our lives. I am giddy at the thought of going back to school and back to research. But this next phase, before the move...it's already proving to be a tough one.

Isaac's Room

This morning I looked out my bathroom window and saw that the fuschia rose bush was in full bloom. Behind that Cala lillies were blooming all over the yard, interwoven with California poppies and some unidentified purple flowers that Isaac picks. I don't pick the roses, only because I love smelling them in the morning when the window is open and I am getting ready for the day. This morning I realized that this would be the last season for me to do this and it gave me a twinge of sadness. This has been happening every now and then. Like when Isaac sits on his changing table and talks to me about the big apple tree outside his window. Or he sits on "his" rock and asks us to sit on the bigger one next to him.

I am sad to leave this house. Not because I love the house, because I DO NOT. It's a crazy Dr. Suess house that is full of earthquake hazards and issues. It never would have been a house we would have considered to buy, but has served it's purpose as a rental. I am sad to leave it because it is the first home Isaac has known. I know he won't remember living here. He probably won't remember the flowers, trees, rocks, or anything about it. But it was the house that I worked so hard to make a home to bring our new baby into.

Isaac's room is my favorite room in the entire house. Sometimes I just go in there and lay on his floor when he is in another room. I love his room. I don't really know why. I worked pretty hard to make it the way I wanted it, I guess. I am sad that he is leaving this room.

When I started thinking about what I wanted my baby's room to look like, I had a hard tiem settling on a theme. I am that type of person that if I chose one particular theme, like jungle animals or sports, the entire room woudl have to be that way and stay that way. I am just that Type A. I didn't want to do that. Ben and I decided on focusing on primary colors.

This is his wall of dogs. He loves dogs. I took some photos of dogs we know and had his fabulous photographer godmother send him some of all hers as well. I bought plain mats from Walmart for $2 and a pet stencil. White ribbon is hanging them to the wall. He also has a stackable dresser, meaning that each drawer section is a separate piece. VERY helpful when moving, because we just tie the drawers shut.

 I was told by many a person that these type of storage shelves are better for kids toys. They stay organized (in theory) and the child can see the toys without having to rifle through a huge box. Plus there's the whole not being able to slam his fingers in the lid thing. Since Isaac has always loved all things that GO!, I found this roadway rug at Ikea for like $10. The little cloth drawes beneath the bench hold smaller items and figures.

That's my little Peanut in the frame that I made while on maternity leave. We will look at after our bath, and now Isaac tells me "That's baby Isaac. He's cute!" and it makes my uterus ache.

All these characters need somethign to hold at night. Isaac likes alot of things in his crib, like his cup of  milk, he's Mickey Mouse light chaser, and more often than not he wants one or more racecars or trucks in the bed.

I think this Ohio State rocker is his Daddy's favorite thing in his room. He just started sitting in it to look at his books.

When we get a house in Ohio, I know I can make his room even better. I can PAINT for one thing. I just have a special attachment to this room. Nearly everything in the room was chosen specifically for my boo. It the first and only home he has every known, that we have known as a family. I hate the house. But I sure do love the home.